Rethinking Toys

It’s Christmas Eve and you’re busily wrapping that mountain of presents after your toddler is asleep.  All is prepared for Santa’s arrival.  You made delicious chocolate chip cookies and decorated them with your toddler-check!  You’ve read “’Twas the Night before Christmas” with your child on your lap—check!  You’ve filled baby’s embroidered stocking with loads of goodies to eat, and small stocking stuffers (which you spent more on than some presents)—check! You’ve bought the boatload of presents –some educational, some board games, some more, more, more—lost track!  In fact, by the time you’ve wrapped the last present, you’ve lost track of what’s in all the other wrapped packages.  It’s impressive though! Why, the mountain of presents makes you the best parent this Christmas-for sure!  But are you really sure about that?

 

Sometimes less is more! That’s an old adage, but truly appropriate!  Children today have too much “stuff”! Their bedrooms are filled with toys from the time they are infants.  The more is better syndrome is insidious. We just want to be good parents, but buying more may not be the way to get baby’s attention.

 



 In fact, I bet if you give your baby two pots and a couple of ladles and spoons, your baby will entertain himself for hours on end.  It will be loud, but it will be creative.  He will place the pans on his head, on the dog’s head, on your head.  He will try to step into the frying pan.  That’s where a couple of packing boxes come in handy.  Watch while your child uses his imagination and places

these boxes side by side, or one on top of the other, or gets in and out of the box for hours on end.He will cart his pots and pans into the cardboard box and then out of the cardboard box, over, and over, and over, and over!  And he’ll smile and giggle over his dominance of the boxes.  He might even want to add a towel over the box to crawl into- a cave or a secret hide-out! Don’t forget, if he can’t see you, he believes you can’t see him either.  Remember peek a boo? Your child believes this concept of being seen and not, depending upon if he can can see you! 

So maybe, next time you wrap Christmas presents, choose the boxes carefully, and leave out the stuff inside. When your child sees the box itself as a present, he has truly chosen imagination, and that is the greatest gift you can give-- a “thinking” child!

That goes for birthday presents too.  I have a friend who has simple birthday parties for her child.  The toddler gets to invite three friends, and instead of the children giving the birthday girl presents, the toddler discusses with mom just what each child would like. At the party, the child gives each girl one of her toys, the gift of giving and the joy of sharing what you love. And it works! So think about what really makes children happiest.  It’s the simple joys, the verbalizing how happy her birthday makes her feel, reminiscing “on the day you were born” to your child.  It’s the planning of a simple party together. For example,  I have another friend who had a book birthday party, in which each mom brought a special book that the child already owned, wrapped it up, and read it to the other children at the party.  Each Mom read the child’s book, with her child on her lap, and they swapped books, so that when they left the party, each child had a different—gently used but greatly treasured book.  Everyone had a blast, and the focus was on the  joy of sharing, and the reading of a beloved book which they read and then swapped.   

 Tip:  It’s not the “things” our children accumulate that brings joy, but rather the experiences they create with their family and friends through joyful discussion and expression that make for an unforgettable birthday or holiday! Try it!