Remember That Dads Are Parents too.....

Father’s Day is fast approaching and I’m thinking that they will finally get the recognition they deserve.  Every father’s day it seems,  I open up the newspaper to headlines buried deep into the middle of the paper which read:  “Deadbeat Dads …”  --you fill in the blank.  Wouldn’t it be just the best Dad’s day present for our newspapers to actually Celebrate Fatherhood instead of bash it with a two by four.  There must be something good we can say about dad’s besides his contribution of sperm. 

I, as the mother of two adult sons, weep for a world where we value our fathers so little that we place commercials on television about dads who can’t take care of their children without moms around.  Remember the recent commercial-- I know you’ve seen it--where the father and his children are Facetiming mom who is on a business trip and eagerly awaiting a good visual of her family before she goes to sleep after a long business day.  She is tentative about how dad is handling the family, but fortunately for her, dad puts on a good show.  The children assure her that everything’s “good” at home.  Dad assures her that he has everything under control too. I don’t think she buys it though. However, she doesn’t say anything out loud. Thank God!  The kids look clean and presentable.  Is it so absurd to believe that all is well on the home-front and that dad can, in fact, handle three kids and one toddler?  Come on! We, the audience doubt dad’s capabilities from the start of this commercial. It’s like we are waiting for the punch line.  And we get it soon after mom hangs up! The camera pans over the kitchen, where food is stuck to every square inch of the walls and the entire kitchen is upside down.  What has happened to this dad, who looks like a highly intelligent human being, and one who is probably in charge of  a dozen people at work. Why---to our surprise (not)--he’s a flaming idiot! He can’t control his children’s behavior when mom’s out of town.  At the end, he is seen scrubbing the walls getting the crud off before mom gets home the next day ‘cause that’s how long this mess will take to clean up! 

Now, if this were an isolated commercial on television, I’d be shocked.  But this type of mentality of our father’s ability to participate in raising a family should have all men up in arms.  Why are men barnstormers in their own careers, but not able to organize to protest their treatment of being viewed as incompetent fathers in the real world.  You probably know many, many instances where poor old dad, gets the short end of the stick!  Men, rise up! Show the world you will not take this visual abuse on television, in newspapers, or anywhere else. 
 
I know you can change a diaper without getting all queasy and passing out!  I know you can feed a baby without getting spaghetti stuck to the walls! I know you can give Jr. a bath without drowning the kid!  You need to tell the rest of the world that you are the rule not the exception.  It shouldn’t be so shocking to see a man and his children out to breakfast or dinner without saying that this must be “Wednesday” or the every other weekend that dad gets the kids. Most people assume that fathers seen out and about with their own children are divorced! Maybe they just plain want to take their kids out to have some father/child quality time.  My sons are amazing fathers who actively and productively and wholeheartedly participate in their children’s lives.  There are many millions more like them.

Take charge of your fatherhood.  Write or email or tweet out to the world that you are the “real deal”.  That you won’t be the brunt of this “incompetent, idiot dad” culture we have created in this country.  It’s at a point where we as a family don’t even realize how poorly we are treating dads.
Let’s all of us protest the stereotyping of dads everywhere.  Let’s be aware of it and do something about it.

Tip:

 Let’s stop treating Dad’s like they are outsiders looking into the family and treat them as if they are a vital part of family.  Let’s not give lip service to fathers this year but rather give thanks for dad’s contributions as the heart of the family.