All the preparations are
complete. The baby’s room is ready. The crib sheets are on, the black and white
mobile is up, and the suitcase is all packed and directly by the front door-check! You have both clocked the mileage to the
hospital and the time to get there during
rush hour and in the middle of the night –your front door to the entrance of
the hospital door-check! The house is
child proofed with all the “thing- a ma- jigs” securely placed into all the
electrical outlets-check! You have a contingency plan IF dad is not at home when the baby is ready to arrive-check—in
fact, you have more than one contingency plans-double check! You have the
neighbor(s) --two in fact--, feeding the dog, the cat, and the fish when you
leave for that trek to the hospital-check! Now what?
The WAIT! The
Wait! The Wait! Your doctor has assured you that “you
will know” when it’s time to have your baby; after all, he’s delivered
ten thousand babies. But he’s male, so
how does he really know? You’re conscientious and have asked what seemed like a
million questions: How can I tell the
difference between false labor and the real thing? What about my water
breaking? How much do I expect, a little trickle or a gusher? Will I embarrass myself if I’m out? What does
it smell like? Water? Some of my friends
have said it has a skanky odor, like lighter fluid. Is that true?
How long do my contractions last at the beginning? When I’m timing my
contractions, what is the magic amount of time between contractions—before I
take off for the hospital? Should I wait
at home until contractions are –ten minutes? Five minutes? Two minutes apart?
None of the above? If my baby doesn’t
come by the due date, should I be worried? After all, I have worked right up to
the due date and now I’m just waiting.
If you, as a first time
mother are sick of all the myriad of unanswered questions and the doctor’s
reply of “you’ll know; don’t worry”, take heart! There is safety in number, after all. No one knows but baby when “He’ll/She’ll” decide
to come. Actually, baby is already
beginning the slow process of worrying you before birth, and this constant worry continues until 18
years of age and well beyond! Let’s take
this doctor’s advice of “you’ll know” apart and analyze it.
First, he’s never had a
baby, so right off the bat you know the advice seems not well grounded. He doesn’t know the answers to these
questions, so he can weasel out of them by giving this generic statement- “You’ll
know”! If you aren’t satisfied
with this statement, well, the first thing I would do would be buy ice cream,
and while you’re sitting on the couch anyway, at least you won’t feel guilty
feeding your face. Place the clock close
to your comfy chair and watch the seconds tick by as you eat your favorite ice
cream and ask yourself why for the life of God the doctor doesn’t have better answers to your simple, well
thought out questions!
Second, if he’s helped
deliver so many babies why can’t he give you a more precise birth date for your
first child? He is able to tell you that
the eviction date from the womb for your baby won’t be longer than...one week ….or
more from the actual due date. That’s
great! But it doesn’t help you with all
the moment to moment worry and jitters you are experiencing NOW!
Everyone you come in contact
with asks the same question: “Haven’t you had the baby YET?”
and “When do you think he’ll
come?” Well if you knew the answer
to either of those questions, you would probably have told them –dah!!
You have no restrictions
on you other than you shouldn’t fly, but you don’t dare venture off far from
home as it could be “any time now”. Baby
now has the upper hand, and he’s not tipping it! Everyone is offering you tips for nudging
baby from his secure resting spot! Your
closest friends are now secretly betting on your due date. Someone’s going to
get a boatload of money as eviction day for baby is fast approaching so there
are only seven more days until “D-day”.
You can hardly wait.
The need to have this baby NOW, is fast overtaking the worry and nervousness you once
had. Your acne is kicking up; you have washed your hair every day, “just in case”; you’re
constipated; you haven’t had a good
night sleep in months; the baby is
kicking you—but now it’s not cute anymore!
It hurts. He’s sitting squarely
on your bladder so you always keep the bathroom door within eye sight where
ever you go! And traveling anywhere now
makes you queasy! You vow, never again to have another baby!
Fear not! When the actual blessed event occurs, and when you actually hold your precious baby in
your arms for the first time, “mommy amnesia” kicks in, and you will
forget all the aches, pain, and worry you had!
And bonus: Your doc was right all along! You DID
know when to go to the hospital.
Tip: Listen to and trust your own body to let you
know when baby will arrive. You’ve done everything right. But for now, kick back with a big bowl of
your favorite ice cream and eat the whole thing—while you’re waiting! 
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